17th Jun 2003

rough times

I apologize for not updating in a while. I go through these periods where I’m scared to write anything, becuase I don’t want people to a) think I’m a pretentious scenster putting my two cents in about music and b) I don’t want people to think I’m dumb or dramatic when writing about my life. It’s all that guys fault who left that nasty message a few months ago. Oh well. Things have also been kind of crazy lately, especially in the past few weeks.

My parents have been really stressed out. Especially my mom, becuase my grandma got sick and couldn’t keep food down for a week. They said she had an infection and sent her home. To make a long story short, yesterday they found a blockage in her intestines and it’s cancer. They’re operating Thursday at 2:00.. I believe they’re doing a colostomy. She’s 87 so if she makes it through it will be a miracle. Even if she does, we’ll have to put her in assisted living and sell her house and stuff so it’s going to be pretty bad. My poor mom is a mess, her dad died when I was younger and didn’t really understand. So now her mom is dying too - I can’t even imagine. And my poor grandma.. if I was in her place I don’t know what I’d do. How can you accept that you’re probably going to die soon? And if you don’t die.. you’re going to have to have a bag attatched to your body that will collect your waste becuase they took your insides. Not to mention move out of your house and into a strange place.

I’m so afraid to go visit at the hospital. I went to visit my grandpa when he was really sick because of his heart.. he had to get a triple bipass.. amazingly he’s perfectly fine today. But the whole time I was there I had to stand outside the whole time to keep from crying. I don’t know how I’m going to be able to go to the hospital this time knowing not just that there’s a chance she might not make it, but a huge chance.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, June 17th, 2003 at 7:02 pm and is filed under Life. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

2 Responses to “rough times”

  1. June 19th, 2003 at 6:52 pm liz Says:

    i suck. i put my comment for this entry in the last one instead…sigh.

  2. June 23rd, 2003 at 8:39 pm the other liz ( liz EFFF) Says:

    don’t be an idiot, never be afraid of writing. unless this journal thing is something you write specifically for the pleasure of others.

    however i was under the impression that this was your private space and you could write whatever the fucka fuck you want, and us readers are along merely for the ride!!111

    people will always be assholes about what you write, and when they are, it just gives you more material to write about.

    i am done my english major “write away!” rant.