b natural. c sharp.

(refering to previous entry)

Now that I’ve thought about it, I don’t think it’s a sad thing. I’m not depressed about anything. I think it’s an anxiety thing. I have a lot of pressure on me (parents, school, band, future, etc)… and for some reason when I’m one on one in my lessons and they start telling me I suck, I (unintentionally) deal with it by crying. I guess I just don’t deal with pressure well… definately something I need to work on. I think I especially don’t deal with it well when I’m faced one on one with somebody who is putting the pressure on me/telling me I’m failing at it.

P.S. ~ Thanks for the nice comments Rob and Belinda. (:

So today I started crying in my lesson again. I don’t know what it is, I just can’t stop it when I feel like I have to cry. If my teacher starts giving me shit and I get frustrated, BAM.. there I go and start crying. And I can’t even explain why.. I feel like such an asshole. My teacher is all like.. has something happened with your boyfriend? Something else? Blah blah blah? And all I can do is shake my head and not talk becuase if I do I’ll cry more. I guess I’m just tired, stressed, and moody in general… but I wish there was some way I could prevent it. I need a vacation.. I’m so glad we’re off for Thanksgiving.. but it’s just going to make me want to work even less when I come back. Not to mention I think me and my dad might kill each other during the short break. Bleh.

Does anybody have recurring dreams? I do.

Not so much the same dream over and over, but the same topic. I dream about tornadoes a lot. I think I have a tornado phobia.. I’ll have to look that one up for the official name haha. I’m kind of afriad of thunderstorms… but I think I’m mainly afriad of thunderstorms because I’m afraid that a tornado will come. I’ve never even seen a real tornado. I’m such a baby. =D

Maybe on a deeper level the dreams are one of those “I don’t feel in control” things… I don’t know. Somebody make me feel not-so-crazy and tell me about your recurring dreams. (:

P.S. - I’m not crazy… =D

Before mp3.com gets bought out by CNET I want you to check out this band’s mp3s. http://artists.mp3s.com/artists/469/avec.html

This is the fantastic Baltimore band known as Avec. These guys are incredible… their live show is SO ROCK. They are my favorite local band, hands down. We’ve played with them several times, and always ended up playing before them… unfortunately everybody had a history of leaving after we played. It’s really a shame because they deserve some recognition, so I’m here to plug them. (:

I would highly recommend checking them out sometime - they’re definately an up and coming Baltimore band. In fact these guys (and lady) are playing a really great show tomorrow night at the Ottobar which I’m pretty sure I’m going to be at as well.

November 15, 2003
@ the Ottobar in Baltimore, MD w/ Liars Academy (Equal Vision), Bear Vs. Shark (Equal Vision), My Hotel Year & Revenge Is and Avec

http://www.methodshop.com/mp3/articles/MP3DJ/iPodDJ.stm

Now it’s even easier to be a crappy DJ! Woo hoo! But seriously, these iPod things are looking pretty sweet. I’m just not sure how good of an idea it is to try to DJ with them unless you plan on just being like a wedding DJ. Unfortunately pressing pause/seek just doesn’t give you that same scratch sound. =D

Things with the band have been pretty good lately. We got a new guitarist, but sadly it didn’t work out. It sucks because he was a really cool guy, but it just wasn’t meshing right. It looks like we’re going to be sticking with a 4 piece for a while because it’s so hard to transition a new person in.

We’ve been doing really well with selling the CD. We sold 30 CDs at our show last month with Rainer Maria, and that was a show without a lot of our normal fans. We played the Music for Unity show in Frederick over this weekend and sold 32! That’s the most we’ve sold so farin one show, besides our CD release where 216 people got a free copy with admission.

The local shows in Frederick, Mt. Airy, New Market, etc. (aka bumfuck MD hehe) are almost always the best shows we play. The kids there are SO dedicated and it’s always a blast. We had kids dancing, crowd surfing, and totally rocking out to us. Shows at the bigger clubs are always cool, but indie scenesters are usually too cool to actually dance and show their appreciation. But not at these shows! We’re playing in that area again on the 22nd so I’m looking forward to seeing all those awesome kids again.