27th Nov 2003

the pressure builds, the structure weakens

(refering to previous entry)

Now that I’ve thought about it, I don’t think it’s a sad thing. I’m not depressed about anything. I think it’s an anxiety thing. I have a lot of pressure on me (parents, school, band, future, etc)… and for some reason when I’m one on one in my lessons and they start telling me I suck, I (unintentionally) deal with it by crying. I guess I just don’t deal with pressure well… definately something I need to work on. I think I especially don’t deal with it well when I’m faced one on one with somebody who is putting the pressure on me/telling me I’m failing at it.

P.S. ~ Thanks for the nice comments Rob and Belinda. (:

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2 Responses to “the pressure builds, the structure weakens”

  1. November 27th, 2003 at 8:08 pm Rob "Bobby Luvin" Shread Says:

    Sounds like you got it dude. You shouldn’t feel that way though.. look at it like this… your at college, you got the grades to go there and i’m asuming you had to do an interview too? Now see.. If these people are telling you that you suck.. (which i’m sure there not doing just too get a kick out of) then there doing it becuase they know its worth telling you where your going wrong.. they can see that with guidense you can totaly achive what it is your setting out too… its if they WEREN’T telling you that stuff, and just giving you low grades with out even a word of wisdom that you’d need to panic, and even then, question them!!

    I told told a piece of work i did sucked they other day by one of my music tech lecturers.. he went into great detail how my work wasn’t any good, it didnt cover the right area, it wasn’t presented right etc etc.. Now see.. I can’t stand him any more but i sure as hell aint gunna let him give me a shit mark next time… and i know exactly what to do too now!! Then he’ll have to stand up and give me the god danm respect i diserve!!

    So hey, just remember yeah.. you got there.. you can do it.. why panic?

    Bob. :-)

  2. December 1st, 2003 at 1:17 pm chuck d Says:

    I took one semester of bass lessons my freshman year and switched my major to Physics (not that I’d recommend that to anybody) - I just wasn’t on the same wavelength as that teacher. A couple of years later I found a guy I could get along with and he got me to the next level, then a few years later I took guitar lessons from a great teacher and that got me to the level past that.

    Some people aren’t cut out to be teachers, but some people really are. When you find the right people you can fly. I’d gut it out a while longer. If I’d found the right teacher right away things might have been different…

    And if it’s really anxiety at the core of this, that will mellow with experience. No real way around it.